


You've made your bed, Now lie in it

by TheLumatina



Series: Does It Ever Get Better? [1]
Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alex doesn't die, Bittersweet Ending, Hurt!Alex, SpyFest Holiday Fic-Exchange (Alex Rider), Spyfest 2020 (Alex Rider), Whump, alex escapes MI6, alex is like the only recurring minor, also killing MI6 agents, also with the way i wrote this i don't think i made alex human, bamf!alex, besides tom and sabina, dark!Alex, i can't say the same for all k-unit members, i don't understand most ships in this fandom, i forgot how to write fluff, i have way to much fun writing angst, i think murder is considered dark, it's definitely not legal, yassen doesn't die either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28458765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLumatina/pseuds/TheLumatina
Summary: My submission for SpyfestBAMF!Alex, Dark!Alex, Hurt!Alex all rolled in one or in which Alex gets whumped so much he breaks and everyone else pays the price
Relationships: None
Series: Does It Ever Get Better? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095164
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	You've made your bed, Now lie in it

Alex wasn’t sure what had happened. His memory of the events was fuzzy at best and non-existent at worst. All he could feel was pain crawling over his body, fire under his skin. His mind was buzzing, white sparks on the side of his vision. Tears streamed down his face. Sobs tore out of his throat.

How did it come to this? He’d been good. He’d done well. He listened. He did what they wanted. He stopped complaining, followed their orders. He did everything they wanted. And they were the good guys, weren’t they? (He knew that wasn’t true. They hadn’t been the good guys the moment they blackmailed him) But that wasn’t true! They were the good guys! They helped people. It didn’t matter if they hurt him. It was his fault anyway. He was the one getting in trouble. He was the one who couldn’t take orders and just do what he was told. They needed him to help people.

So why didn’t he feel like a hero? Why hadn’t he won?

He was tired, so tired. It was all he felt in recent times. He slowly lifted his hand, pain shooting up his arm. A choked scream left his lips. Was that blood? “Oh... I didn’t notice.” That’s right. He was bleeding. How did that happen again? He just wanted everything to stop. Everything hurt so much, why couldn’t it just stop? Could he sleep now? Then he wouldn’t have to wake up again.

His vision started to get blurring, the last thing he heard was footsteps behind him.  
______________________________________________________________________________

I’m not dead? Was the first thing he thought when he woke up. Slowly opening his eyes getting us to the light in the room. The blanket was soft against him. Wait, blanket? Alex slowly lifted himself up. Trying his best not to aggravate his wounds. The room he was in was bare, a bed in the corner (which he was sitting on). A window to his left. The bed was facing the door. There was a dresser to the left of the door but other than that, nothing.

He could smell eggs coming from somewhere beyond the room he was in. Alex moved gently until he was sitting on the edge of the bed before putting weight on his legs. He hissed in pain. “Okay.” His voice was still rough, from the screaming and crying of yesterday. Was it yesterday? How much time had passed? “This is fine.” Steeling his nerves Alex got up. He slowly made his way over to the door. Alex winced as the door slightly creaked when he opened it.

Across from him was another door. To the right, the hallway ended with a small table and plant next to it. To the left, the hallway continued, another door at the end, and then the hallway turned. Poking his head out more Alex could see a staircase. Holding onto the wall for support Alex made his way over to the stairs. “How the hell am I suppose to get down there?” Alex whispered to himself.

Alex lowered himself onto the first step. Sitting there he leaned against the railing and looked down. The stairs seemed to be against the wall. With a door underneath the stair to what seemed a small room. Then a small kitchen to the right and a bit further a small living/ dining room. A wall blocked off the majority of the kitchen from his view but he could see the marble counters. Noises were coming from the kitchen. The person in there must have been the one to save him.

Alex checked his side for the karambit that he had had with him. When he felt it he released a breath he didn’t notice he’d been holding. He started to fiddle with the handle as he slowly descended the stairs. Making his way to the kitchen, one hand on the wall to not lose his balance. He peaked his head to look into the kitchen.

“You should be dead.” Alex blurted. Standing in the kitchen, making eggs was Yassen. Someone who should most definitely be dead. “I watched you die.” Alex continued.  
“And you should be in bed,” Yassen responded.  
“How are you alive?”  
“As you are no longer in bed would you like some eggs?”  
“You’re ignoring my question.” A hum was Alex’s only response.

He slowly got closer to the kitchen. “Yes,” Alex spoke up. Yassen hummed in question. “I’d like eggs. But don’t think I’m not ignoring the fact that you should be dead.” He answered. They sat in silence until Alex’s eggs were done. Then the sound of him eating could be heard. “I did not die, though I did pass out due to the blood loss. MI6 was able to revive me. Now it’s my turn. Why are you not in school?” Alex blinked at the words. “That’s your questions?”  
“Yes. I thought I told you to go back to school. Why are you still here?” Yassen asked with an accusing tone. Alex felt anger bubbling in his chest. “Do you really think I want to be here? No! I want to go back to school. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to do dumb teenager shit.” Tears were starting to come to his eyes. Alex quickly blinked them back. He was not going to cry. Not now, especially not in front of Yassen.

“Is MI6 forcing you?” Was Yassen’s next question. “No-” Yassen showed that he didn’t believe Alex at all. “- Well at first they did. But.. but... It’s my fault. I didn’t listen. I went digging into things I shouldn’t have. It’s my fault.” Alex’s voice grew silent at the end.  
“Is that what they told you?”  
“Yes. They told me they didn’t want to use me. But I kept forcing them. They just wanted to help me. Keep me safe.”  
“Keep eating your eggs.”

The silence came back. Alex couldn’t stand it. “What day is it?” He asked. Yassen looked up from the book he was reading. “It’s the 15th of February.” Oh, he’d been asleep for an entire day then. Wait, he’d missed his birthday. “What’s wrong?” Yassen asked.  
“It’s nothing,” Alex looked away towards the stairs. “I missed my birthday is all. Not that important.”  
“How old did you turn?”  
“I turned 16.” He felt pressure building-up on his chest. The silence he so hated coming back.  
______________________________________________________________________________

The next few days flew by. Alex couldn’t do much due to the injuries that hadn’t healed yet. But he could read the books that were on the shelf in the living room. His favorite book so far was Plants That Kill by Elizabeth Dauncey. He’s sure that Jet would have approved of the book. He also found a book by Jack Rosewood, Alex found it slightly funny that Yassen would have an encyclopedia on serial killers. Other than reading Alex spent most of his time just sleeping and regaining strength.

Between reading and sleeping, Alex had also explored the entire apartment they were in. On the first floor was a bathroom, the kitchen, and the living/ dining room. On the second floor was a bathroom, and three rooms. One of the rooms was a bedroom that was used as a storage room. The other room was Yassen, which Alex wasn’t allowed in. In his room, Alex had noticed that there were fire escape stairs on the side of the bedroom, that he was able to access through his window.

On the fifth day, Alex found a few new books at his small stack on the coffee table. The new books that had appeared were all written by a psychologist, I think Yassen is trying to send a message. As he kept reading the books they all had a theme to them. Gaslighting and emotional abuse. He is definitely sending a message. With nothing better to do, Alex starts reading.  
______________________________________________________________________________

After spending more than a week at a safe house with Yassen, things have gotten better. Alex had gotten more comfortable with the assassin around. Though Alex wasn’t sure if Yassen could hear him waking up from nightmares on most nights. He hopes not.

On the 10th day, everything changes. The day started off normal. Alex had breakfast with Yassen. Spent some time with the first-aid kit rebandaging his wounds. Most of them had healed though a few still had large scabs. He didn’t understand how he had healed so quickly but he wasn’t about to complain.

Alex was currently in his room reading through the books that he had been given. Yassen had wanted him to pack a few things into his bag, not wanting to stay at the safe house much longer. Alex had put two books in his bag, a few clothes, and two knives. Yassen had given him a new one and showed him some basic moves to defend himself with it.

His reading got interrupted when he heard murmuring from downstairs, multiple voices reaching his door. He put everything he needed in his bag and crept down the hallway. Alex froze before reaching the stairs. He knew those voices. “Looked around. See if we can find him. MI6 wants Alex back unharmed.” Fox’s voice drifted up the stairs.

Alex quickly grabbed the karambit from his bag and turned on his heels heading from his room. “There’s someone upstairs.” Wolf’s voice could be heard. Alex didn’t even try to be quiet anymore. He rushed into his room trying to get the window open. The window was slightly stuck. Panic began to rise in his as he heard stomping coming from the hallway. Looking around he tried to find something that would allow him to open the window and give him time. Alex spotting two chairs in his room. Alex rushed to lock the door to the room and placed one chair underneath it. He could hear the doorknob jingle, banging quickly followed after. “Alex! Open this door!” Wolf screamed through the door. “Leave me alone!” Alex screamed back grabbing the second chair.

“Alex, trust me.” Fox’s softer voice came through.  
“Why should I?”  
“Because everything is going to be okay.”  
“How can you say that?”  
“We’re here to save you. Get you away from Gregorovich. Ms. Jones is worried about you. She sent me.” At Fox’s words, Alex threw the chair at the window, shattering the glass. “I am never going bad!” Snarled Alex.

Being mindful of the glass Alex climbed out of the window onto the fire escape. Turning back Alex saw the floor falling down. Without thinking, Alex ran down the stairs not turning back. He would have probably jumped but the bag at his side encumbered him “I’ll go down the stairs, you guys try and cut him off.” Fox’s voice came from above him.

As Alex reached the bottom of the stairs he felt a hand wrap around his arm. “Alex-” Fox’s voice was cut off with a scream from the knife that had been planted into his arm. He let go of Alex allowing him to get further. “Alex, calm down.”  
“No, leave me alone.”  
“You know we can’t do that. Just come peacefully. It’s safer for you.”  
“I will never be safe with them. Leave Fox, I won’t hesitate if you force my hand.” Alex’s voice grew colder the longer he spoke. The part of him that held a soft spot for Fox was long gone by now. Growing colder after every mission Alex was forced on.

Alex spotted Yassen standing behind Fox. “Let me go, Fox.” This was Alex’s last gift to Fox, a chance to live after having saved Alex on missions. “We can go our separate ways, and I won’t have to kill you.” Conflict swam in Fox’s eyes. ‘I can’t d-” Alex rushed forward with his knife as Fox pulled out the gun from his side. 

“I’m sorry” whispered Alex as he ran past Fox, slashing his throat in the process. Blood sprayed everywhere. Turning around Alex pushed Fox’s body slightly, causing it to fall face first into the concrete. Using his sleeve he wiped off some of the blood that ended up on his cheek.

Alex stared at Fox’s lifeless body in front of him. He lifts his head to the entrance of the alley, hearing voices. The rest of k-unit has arrived. “What did you do?” Screams Wolf. Alex stares back down at Fox’s body. It’s a shame this happened. He didn’t want to kill someone. “I don’t regret it.” Alex turns around to follow Yassen, leaving the people of his past behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I've written in like a year and a half. I think that was noticeable. I spent 4 hours straight just writing this. Took three breaks to feed my cats, get some food, and then at one point just sat on the floor to write instead of my desk.


End file.
